MISSION 001: First one to destroy the Earth’s soul wins.


Vessel: A man, 2 metres in height, with tubes flowing with radioactive green liquid, capable of killing a man ten times his size, if ever there was a man to best him, with arms so long they touch the ground, right next to his three clawed toes attached to powerful legs.

Gorger: Although much smaller in size, he is an artist with his knife. With reflexes to match a snake’s, he can kill so much faster than the average murderer. With teeth like that of a shark and the strength of one, his black eyes bore into his victims and showed them no mercy.

Doctor ‘Death’ Nubs: The smallest of the Destroyers but none the more dangerous, as he wields the scalpel like a sword and with a mind just as sharp. Stylishly dressed with the latest in fashion along with telltale red glasses to hide his crazy eyes, one is to beware near this doctor.

Hannibal: The last of the Destroyers and by far the largest of all. With powerful jaws able to crush anything as well as his hands, it does help that he stands at a mighty 30-foot height. His tongue was quick not only in wit but with strike as it coiled around its victims, burning them with the acid.

And right now they were doing something that would make the great dictators cringe.

“Any sevens?

“Go Fish…”

Gorger threw down the cards with a grunt. Resting his head on his grey hand, the Destroyer proceeded to play around with his favourite knife. Vessel laid down his own cards as well, slumping backwards. Yes, boredom was certainly cringe-worthy.

“I have to do something...” Gorger moaned, cutting imaginary bodies in the air.

“Sleep then.” Hannibal grumbled in the corner, his smoky bottom half coiled around himself like a cat. On his head, nestled peacefully in his black hair, was Nubs snoring ever so lightly. Gorger stuck his nose up in defiance and returned to slicing the air in front of him.

“It’s the price you pay so you can kill tainted worlds,” spoke Vessel from his lying position. “You’ll get used to it.”

“But they don’t even give you some appliance to use. Or trash.” Gorger complained.

“We don’t eat therefore we have no need for fridge, stove, microwave or toaster. Because we don’t eat we don’t need to defecate. Except Nubs but he does his business behind the bushes.” Hannibal spoke up again.

“AI DU NUT DOES MAH BUZINESH IN THE BUZES. Ai du them in toilet shaped buzes.” Nubs said, bringing his head up to show his entire demented smile.

“We know Nubs,” the other Destroyers mumbled.

“OR DID JOO?!” cried the tiny Destroyer again. Suddenly, he gave a small gasp, clutching his forehead with his three stubby fingers.

“MAI SCAR!”

“You can’t do Harry Potter impersonations.”

“MAI SPIDEY SENSE ISH TENGLENG!”

“Don’t attempt Spider-man.”

Nubs stared at them all with a disgruntled look.

“Leader Tenma wantsh ush. Liek nyow.”

The rest of the Destroyers perked up their ears, focusing their attention on Nubs.

“Spit it out, what does the iguana want?” Vessel said, standing up to dust off his knee length trousers.

“Wait, Am treing tu geet a single.” Nubs answered, moving his two long ears around like antennas. “OH GOT ET.”

Nubs shook his head wildly, muttering and shouting indecipherable words, before straightening up and spoke in a voice that was definitely not his own.

“Greeting Destroyers,” the voice rang out from Nubs’s mouth “Gorger Samsa, I assume you are settling in nicely with other scum such as yourself.”

“Oh yes. It is all peachy.” Gorger answered back, sarcasm lacing his voice.

“I see. As usual, there is a tainted world to be destroyed. However, this time, no Sustainers from the L.M.A.O. will be there as QWERTY has covered the soul’s signal from them. Same business as always, get in, kill all and then you have 5 minutes to get out before the planet self-destructs. All clear?”

“You got it crocodile,” saluted Vessel. One could hear the leader’s teeth grinding all the way in Pride, if one put the effort.

“That is all. A portal taking you to your destination appears in one minute.” The voice stopped, making Nubs blink his crazy eyes before shaking his head again to clear his mind.

“Don’t ask how he gets the signals. He just DOES.” Vessel said as Gorger opened his mouth to ask.

“MISHION TIEM!” he cried excitingly, jumping around the place with enthusiasm before landing on Hannibal’s head.

“Mission it is Nubs.” sighed Hannibal, lifting his upper body up. Nubs was very excited and jumped around the place again this time landing on Gorger’s head.

“EW. I’m touching GORGER.”

The grey man swatted him away with annoyance, managing to hit Nubs hard enough to fly off.

“MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-“ screamed Nubs before being suddenly cut off by a large vortex of swirling colours that made Vessel’s shiny radioactive tubes look dull in comparison.

“QWERTY got it in exactly one minute. Impressive.” Hannibal hummed.

Silence.

“LetsgonowplzkthanksBAI” Hannibal giggled and grabbed an unsuspecting Gorger and Vessel. They yelled loudly as the behemoth threw them at the portal of happy colours at the speed of a car breaking the sound barrier. The two disappeared as the portal engulfed bodies. Hannibal slithered towards the portal and was about to hop in but thought better of it.

“Meh, can’t be bothered.” he replied and instead curled up beside the portal and slept.


Vessel screamed. Gorger screamed. The air around them screamed as the speed they were thrown at was forced to either speed up or slow down. It chose to speed up. Lights flashed around them so bright it would cause seizures to normal people. They both thanked their lucky stars they weren’t normal. The portal spat them out, first Vessel, who skidded across the gravel to a painful stop, his clawed feet hanging over his head. Gorger popped out next, literally tumbling out like a barrel only to stop with his head above Vessel’s pelvis. Obviously a bad position to be in.

“HOMOSECS! HOMOSECS!” yelled Nubs from behind a nearby broken down wall. Vessel and Gorger looked at Nubs, who was peeking out from behind the wall, his eyes wide and his hat tipped on the side. Simultaneously, the two Destroyers hugged each other, sending poor Nubs screaming deeper into the decaying city that surrounded them.

“Never gets old,” grinned Gorger as he stood up. “What do we do now?”

“Oh yeah, I have to show you the ropes.” Vessel grumbled “NUBS!!!”

“ME Back.” Nubs spoke as he suddenly reappeared back on Vessel’s shoulder. Vessel suddenly spun around and brought a fist into Gorger’s face. Gorger flew back like a rag doll but managed to stop himself as his shoes were made to grip surfaces. He looked up at Vessel clutching his nose and a look of pure anger crossed his face.

“WHAT the EFFING HELL was that for?!” he yelled.

“To slow you down and speed me up. Nubs show him how things are done. I’m off to catch myself a Gaia soul!” Vessel howled as he jumped off to go deeper into the city, leaving the rest of his team behind.

“BUT AI DUNT LIKE HIM!” Nubs yelled back.

“Too bad,” grinned Gorger, brandishing his knife out in the open. Nubs gave a whimper and hung his head in defeat. He brought it up again with a more determined look and gave a disgruntled sigh.

“We bashically haz tu keel the planets soul. Sometimes we haz tu keel everyone. Bot thiz smellsh like Gaia powa. So we ish looking for a devil kid.” Nubs explained on a whiteboard he regurgitated as he drew little devil stickmen all over the place. Gorger looked at the scribbles.

“You could clean up the lines in photoshop, whenever you have time.” he offered. Nubs looked at his work.

“Maybe. OFF WE GOU!!!”

The little Destroyer shot off into the maze; Gorger going the other way but both eager to claim lives.


“NO, NO, NO!”

The small boy yelled and thrashed as he witnessed his favourite show going into commercials. Behind him lay his parents corpses, eyes open (or missing in the case of the father) with blood strewn across the expensive carpet and couch were they still sat, lifeless and clutching each other.

“I don’t want commercials! I want POKEMANS!” screamed the little boy again. He banged the ground and stared intently at the television set as if trying to will the show back on. Instead it exploded.

“Everything disappoints me.” harrumphed the child, folding his hands over his chest. He swept his newly transformed red eyes over his bloodied living room and gave a sigh. He stood up; making sure that his long, silver hair was out of the way as he walked across the room to the door. He willed it open and he exited his home. He was a devil child now; he had no need for home.

The devil child walked across the deserted corridor of the buildings until he came to a long line of windows. He looked outside to survey the world in which he used to inhabit its core. The humans had fascinated the Gaia soul. It found that many of its kind were willing to kill the other over mundane things. It found that they enjoyed doing it as well. The Gaia soul WANTED enjoyment. Stuck in the centre of the earth was boring and uninteresting. Sure, it was in charge for making sure that the earth would continue to spin to cause the minimum of problems, creating more souls and keeping as many things as possible in harmony but just this once… some freedom to do whatever. It decided that he would take over a human and experience killing. It chose a little boy, watching television, as it was vulnerable to outward forces. It dove in to the body and forced the other soul out, making the body scream and shout in the progress. He managed to take control and killed the intervening parents who had come to see what is wrong.

The devil child smiled and he watched a building close by deteriorate from the constant fighting that happened in the area. Suddenly a blast of green erupted from the middle of the city and the boy gasped as he witnessed a figure leap into the air. It gave off a different aura that what he was used. He recognised it either way.

A Destroyer.

Gaia souls are programmed to know they are in trouble when either Sustainers or Destroyers enter their world. Sustainers would give you a second chance and purify the tainted Gaia soul and help with whatever they can so the world could continue as normal. Destroyers never gave you that chance, opting to instead kill the tainted soul so they don’t pose any problems to other worlds. The devil child sneered and rammed his fist through the window before jumping out. No one was going to interrupt his fun.


Vessel stood proudly in the centre of his destruction circle. Buildings had holes in their walls and humans had holes in their stomaches. Some bodies emitted some of the deadly green gas Vessel harboured in his tubes.

“PFFT. I can do better!”

Vessel looked up. A little boy sat on top of a 5-story apartment block. Red eyes stood out against his fair skin and his silver hair flowed against the calm wind. A simple white t-shirt and a pair of blue shorts adorned the small body. On his forehead sat the number 6. Vessel grinned and shot upwards towards the child. With inhuman speed the child dodged it and brought up his hands. On both palms sat the number 6. They glowed and out burst blood red light. It caught Vessel in the chest, making him go backwards, slamming into another building. The Destroyer brought his own hands up, building up green blasts in the centre. He suddenly moved and the devil child found Vessel right behind him. The child twirled around managing to miss one of the green blasts but the remaining blast got his shoulder. The boy gave a snarl and jumped backwards as Vessel smashed his fist into the ground where he previously stood.

“You are messing with the wrong soul Destroyer! I am a Gaia soul! I am no ordinary stupid human!” yelled the kid.

“But damn you are as stupid as one!”

The devil child yelped as it received a blow to the back of his head. He rolled forwards towards the edge of the building before standing up. Gorger shot the boy a toothy grin, cracking his knuckles in the process.

“That’s not fair! Two against one is unfair!” the boy shouted in protest.

“Tough.” Gorger replied and lunged forwards at the boy. The devil child let out two more blasts from his palms, both which Gorger avoided. The kid jumped off the building, eyes glowing red from anger and the use of his psychic powers from staying elevated in the air. Vessel and Gorger were left on the edge of the roof, both unable to fly.

“HA! PHAIL! PHAAAAAAAAAAAAIL!” teased the kid, making the loser sign on his forehead.

“He manages to be more annoying than the whole population of humans,” growled Gorger.

“G.S. tend to be that way.”

“G.S.?”

“Gaia Souls.”

The Destroyers looked at the newly named G.S. as he continued to tease them from a height and distance he knew they couldn’t get him.

“That’s it. I’m blasting him to oblivion.”


Nubs wasn’t happy. What so ever. He HATED the colour yellow; it looked horrid on everything in his opinion. ESPECIALLY on him.

He had attacked some unfortunate human beings near a discarded paint shop. As he chased the last of them into the empty store, one bumped into an aisle containing yellow paint, managing to topple it onto poor Nubs. Thankfully it also landed on the chased human but it was no good when Nubs was covered with disgusting yellow paint. And with some blood spatters on his cheeks from his victim he looked like a retarded Picachu. He also HATED pokemon.

“It BURNZORS.” remarked Nubs to no one in particular as he exited the paint shop. He looked to his left as he noticed several green and red blasts of dangerous looking chemicals being exchanged.

“CHRISSIE LIGHTZ!” Nubs shouted with glee and bounced towards the blasts, momentarily forgetting he looked stupid.


“YOU KEEP ON MISSIIIIIIIIIIN!” G.S. cried as he twirled out of harm’s way from the green radioactive blasts Vessel shot at him.

“You are a crappy aimer.” Gorger commented as he sat on the edge of the building while Vessel tried to hit the elusive target.

“Shut up.” Vessel replied through gritted teeth and let out a loud ‘HA’ when one of his blasts hit G.S. The boy fell to the ground with a ‘thud’, leaving a dent. G.S. was about to remark at something when a faint bounce was heard.

“OHEMGEE! INUYASHA!”

Everyone swung their heads towards Nubs as the crazy guy threw himself onto the boy.

“A PICACHU!” squealed G.S. catching the Destroyer and giving him a hug. Nubs was reminded of his appearance and started to twist himself out of the boy’s grasp.

“I AM NU PICACHU! IM A DEZTROYAR!” Nubs declared loudly, pushing G.S. off him. G.S. was in a daze for a few seconds. Vessel and Gorger took this as their chance to strike and launched themselves on the distracted boy.

It didn’t work.

G.S. summoned strings of rock from the ground, and deftly wrapped them around the Destroyers, knocking them out as their heads collided with the force of a jackhammer.

Ouch indeed.


“Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Kylie Minogue. Wake up.”

Nubs continued to utter the same sentence with random female celebrities thrown in. He was in the middle of the tied up Destroyers (OH DEAR GOD HE HAD TO BE CLOSE TO GORGER) and he was the first to recover so he proceeded to try and wake up Vessel.

“Wake up. Madonna. Wake u- Oh you are awake.”

“Hey Nubs.” said Vessel.

Vessel rolled his head back and grinned at Nubs. He groaned and tried to budge from the rock rope but got nowhere.

“Can we gets out of hear? My hand is scraping Gorger’s thigh.”

“FOOLS! You can’t get out!”

The conscious Destroyers looked up to see G.S. floating midair, hands and eyes red with power.

“I like this world. I like killing these stupid people.” G.S. grinned and to prove his point, blasted an area of city not far from their position. “I WON’T let you interrupt my fun!”

“Look kid. Whether you like it or not we all die. You just made a couple of bad choices and will die NOW. SO you might as well give up.” Vessel threatened. The devil child threw his head back and laughed.

“Says the one who is tied up!” the child said, trying to stifle his giggles with the back of his hands. The sixes glowed a bright red as he did so.

Gorger woke up with a pounding headache. His eyes squinted as they tried to focus on his surroundings. He found the main object in his vision to be a massive glowing red ball that was getting closer.

“Move your head Gorger.”

Gorger tilted his head sideways as the glowing ball of red death flew past him, scorching a few of his short hairs.

“Thank you.” mumbled Gorger.

“No prob.”

G.S. gritted his teeth in anger. He raised his hands high above as the triple sixes glowed brightly. A ball of red energy started building above him, growing larger by the second.

“Well… Damnation. He is going to kill us.” Vessel stated rather unenthusiastically.

“At least Gorger dies without being able to successfully complete a mission!” Nubs added happily earning a glare from Gorger.

“So what do we do as he does a kame-ha-meha?” Gorger asked as the red ball above them became the size of G.S.

“Hope for a miracle or stare death in the face. What else?”

“HANNIBAL.”

“What Nubs?”

“HANNIBAL FLIES.”

If you ever met the Destroyers after this mission (and they weren’t in the mood to kill you) they would swear on their little black hearts that they saw the same thing.

It all seemed to be in slow motion as Hannibal shot out of the water (they were near the beach) like a whale, belly up, with his mouth wide in a smile, an open toothy smile, his tongue wrapping around G.S. who seemed just as surprised as the tied up Destroyers, except the demon child had cried out ‘Fuck no!’ as the purple jaws clamped around the body. Hannibal crashed back into the blue waters, leaving the audience stunned with mouths agape. The rock rope collapsed around them but they were too shocked to stand up.

“He ate it…” Gorger spoke up. Vessel and Nubs simply nodded. And then an earthquake went off.

“The planet is gonna blow!”

“YEY!”

“No Nubs that’s bad.”

“Oh.”

The Destroyers bolted for it as the ground beneath them cracked open and sucked in a nearby building.

“HOW THE FUCK DO WE GET OUT?!” yelled Gorger as he dodged the cascading pieces of rock from the buildings around them.

“FROM THE PORTAL WE CAME IN!” Vessel yelled back, running as fast as he could from the approaching rip with Nubs on his shoulders to spurn him on.

“AND WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT?!”

“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!”

“Take left then go straight ahead past five roads until you reach a roundabout, there you turn right and go straight before reaching the portal.” Nubs answered the question sophisticating, complete with a professor’s uniform. Vessel shrugged and skidded left into a thin alleyway with Gorger following after him. Suddenly the alley walls in front of them collapsed, barricading their exit.

“What now?” growled Gorger. The earth beneath them shook again answering Gorger’s question.

“Help me blast!” Vessel ordered. His tubes glowed a bright green as the nuclear power built up in his hands. The earth shook again this time splitting in half, knocking Vessel off balance. However instead of falling down into the abyss they went UP as a familiar purple back came into view.

“HELLO HANS!” squealed Nubs as he clutched Hannibal’s hair. Vessel and Gorger hung from the behemoth’s shoulders.

“Hold on.” the giant grinned and shot through the rubble and through the decaying city. It was like surfing. On a purple wave. Vessel and Gorger yelled as the shoulders crushed through rock while Nubs giggled with ecstasy. Suddenly Hannibal launched himself in the air and the Destroyers got a blast of rainbow colours as they went through the portal and leaving the dying world behind.

Hannibal grinded to a halt before slowly slithering slowly to a nearby cliff to drop off his passengers. Nubs bounced off his head and settled on Vessel’s as the zombie monster slumped on the ground.

“THAT WAZ FOON. Again?”